The first thing to do in the event of an alien invasion is to remain calm. While there have been no official documented cases of alien contact with Earth, there are enough urban legends and internet reports to assume that there has been some sort of alien contact in the past.
Detecting the threat:
Alien invasions are likely going to be some of the most noticeable threats that this department could possibly face. Conversely, they could also be some of the most subtle. Possible indications of alien invasions are:
Alien ships descending from the sky and blowing up major landmarks across the world.
Alien ships descending from the sky and demanding our surrender.
Alien ships descending from the sky and asking to live in peace (this is likely a ruse).
Key individuals across the world simultaneously shapeshifting into aliens and declaring their dominion over us.
This will likely be precipitated by a rise of politicians who seem to have no idea what in the world they're doing.
All radio signals simultaneously being jammed.
Strange animal behavior (social media is a good place to look for this threat).
Zombies or plagues rising from alien infections (redirected from Zombies and Plagues)
Strange weather patterns that seem to contradict physics.
The sudden and inexplicable propagation of a hive mind that encompasses all of humanity.
Combating the threat:
Fighting against aliens can be just as complex as detecting the aliens themselves. Possible responses are listed below (corresponding to the numbered threat):
The Nations of the world will likely send fighter pilots against the alien ships. They will certainly be destroyed. Analyze the footage to find any weakness in the alien forces, then find a way to exploit that weakness (preferably by conscripting a hot-shot fighter pilot/soldier to do most of the footwork).
Perform more or less the same actions as an active invasion. If the aliens show themselves (as they will likely do in order to intimidate us) do your best to analyze their physical structures and determine how best to kill them. Additionally, try to determine if there are alien members that are resistant to the idea of enslaving an entire race.
Perform more or less the same as above. If they are asking peace, they will certainly show themselves. Do your best to capture an alien and interrogate it. Find ways to kill it, determine if there are any illnesses harmless to humans but deadly to aliens. Know that if you are caught, the department will disavow you.
Kill said individuals. Analyze their forms, and instigate a witch hunt to find other members of their species hiding in our society.
Begin communicating via other methods. Smoke signals are good here. Scan for threats, alert Washington the moment you discover anything.
Try to figure out if the animals are under alien control, or if they are the aliens. If they are aliens, begin a systematic eradication of all lower life forms on the planet (being sure not to kill off the bees).
In the event that the aliens have taken over the bees, simply submit to alien domination. We’ll die if we kill the bees.
If a plague: Analyze using the techniques in the Plague section. Combat accordingly. Being alien doesn’t change the fact that it’s still deadly. If zombies: Analyze using the techniques in the Zombie section. Being alien won’t change the fact that they’re still zombies.
Confirm that the weather patterns aren’t the result of malfunctioning alien technology, weather control satellites, volcanoes, chemical warfare, or simply a never-seen-before weather system. If it can be determined that it’s definitely an external alien threat, locate alien ship in orbit and target with nukes.
If the target cannot be located, suggest a Hail Mary, whereupon all nukes on the planet are launched into orbit and detonated, filling the immediate area with deadly radiation. If this causes nuclear fallout, see Nuclear Fallout.
This can be achieved through the large red button under the “strike to break glass” sign. Please do not see this as a challenge. Also, please burn this book should you ever see foreign spies hanging around the building.
Not much you can do now, any action you take will be broadcast to all of humanity (and likely the aliens) so…